I want to hike across the Alps and some point in my life...which by the way means I will do it. End of story!

Express Yourself

Have any of you ever just sat down with a guitar or at a piano or perhaps with a paint brush in hand and just...did? I mean did you ever without preconceived notions of what qualified as art or music, and without fears of whether it would be good or not, just start making a sound on an instrument and listen to it, feel it or just start crafting something out of clay or other "materials" lying around or start painting lines or forms on a page without any end goal in sight, letting it just come together as it (or rather your subconscious) willed? When was the last time you just let go and created something, just for the heck of it?

One of the most significant lessons that I have learned this year has been that the means, along with the need, to create lie in every person, that art and music come in all ways, shapes and forms, and that in the end any expression of self is indeed art, and no value can be placed on it. As I once said to my friend Glen, "I think ANYONE can do art", and I now add music to that statement. In fact, the kids are constantly amazing me by just how creative they are: the games they think up, the things they can make out of a box, the number of versions of a cave or a fort they have come up with, the paintings they make, what they imagine in their minds and then proceed to make with their own hands( i.e. masks, 3-D houses, pinecone men , chestnut animals, pirate telescopes, paper lanterns...the list goes on and on). It is truly amazing to see, and has been a gift to be a part of over this last year.

They make and do things that I would never in my wildest dreams even think of. And I, having thought about it more and more these days, have come to the conclusion that the reason for their high level of creativity, is not so much a result of nature as it is of nuture. I grew up in a household where television and movies were always prevalent, with parents who neither played musical instruments nor were interested in music as an art form, where art was seldom done and where whatever we needed we bought from a store. Creativity just wasn't present in our daily lives. And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or criticizing. Believe me I DO know how lucky I've been in life and how much my parents did for me and my sister, how hard they worked, how much they sacrificed, and most importantly how much they loves us (mom and dad feel free to counter :-). But the fact is, creativity was never something that was fostered in me (probably because it was never really fostered in my parents), and I am now just realizing to what extent it hasn't been. In fact, even outside the home, creativity was just not something one needed in a typical day of life in suburbia Southern California. If you think about it, life as I always new it growing up, was just so easy and so predictable. We always went to the same stores, that all looked the same, that sold the same things, that were always well-supplied, and that were, well, completely and utterly reliable. The same thing goes for the physical nature of where I've grown up, the streets are, for the most part, big, straight, easily navigated, and well-organized. The buildings, aesthetically speaking, all look more or less the same, are all more or less, perfectly and predictably built. The fact is I grew up in the "Land of Convenience and Monotony". No wonder I never developed my creativity. I was never really challenged and never HAD to think outside the box, because life fit perfectly inside it.

However, a big part of this year has been about taking the first steps in awakening that side of me. Besides the family themselves, who come from an incredible tradition of making things yourself, I have met so many people here who play musical instruments (some of whom are self-taught), who draw, who are writing or have written novels and poetry, who make most things by hand, all because they can, they want to and because the act of creating is therapeutic, fulfilling, and an outlet for self-expression. You see, all of these people that I have come to know here, do it for themselves, and many. like Irene and Martin, have been taught from a young age to tap into that side of them. The beauty of kids is they are still so much more in touch with their true selves that the creativity just flows out of them. They are unhindered enough, and have not been so corrupted by the outside messages of what defines "good" and "bad", "right" and "wrong", and what they can and can't do, that they (for the most part) continue just trying, experimenting, and doing, without doubt or reservation.

And this, my dear ladies and gentlemen, is a testament to what lies at the very core of every human being, even if over the years it has been been neglected, dismissed, ignored, even discouraged or flat-out rejected and little to no trace of it remains on the surface...even so, we all have it in us. Now I am not claiming that each and everyone of us had the ability, talent, or pure genius in us to have been the next Van Gogh, Bach, or Picasso. Hardly. But we are all, I repeat we are ALL, of us creators. We are all artists, whatever our medium, and we all have something in us that needs expressing.

So why not just let go of the limits that we have been taught to impose on ourselves, why not drop all our doubts and fears that we won't do it "right" or that it won't be "good enough", and just do? Why not just start strumming the strings of the guitar and listen to the sound, why not then try to put two or three or four of those sounds together in succession, then strum two or three at a time....why not just try, experiment and have fun? And if not the guitar, then the drums, the piano, the bango or the trombone....whatever floats your boat, whatever you have access to, whatever moves or inspires you...why the heck not?! Or if it's easier and more approachable, why not start drawing some lines and shapes, blocking out that negative voice in your head that says "you can't draw, you're not an artist, whatever you make will be pure crap, don't be ridiculous, you canNOT", and just seeing where the pen, pencil , paint brush, crayon, chalk, pastel, and/or charcoal takes you? Why not write down the first words that come to your mind, let the emotion flow out through your hand to the pen to the paper? The question is WHY NOT? Let go of the inner critic, set yourself free, and do!!! Believe me it is incredibly liberating if you allow it to be :-) ... and alot more fun than yet another episode of Grey's Anatomy!!