A New Favorite Site

Thanks to one of, actually scratch that, my oldest friend Erika there is a new addition to my online world: http://tinybuddha.com/ . From what I can tell, for I was only introduced to it about 5 minutes ago, it is full of inspirational quotes and entries. So if that sounds like something you'd be interested in why not have a go?! ENJOY!!

So I have been wanting to write this blog for a while, but have found little time to breath, let alone write one of my novel-length entries, since my return to US soil. Between the trips, paperwork, plethora of social appointments, daily to-dos and general running around, my schedule has been jam-packed. (and yes I can hear those of you who are mocking me...brittany, schedule?! hah!...but yes in some way, shape or form I have had one here almost every day) But finally, here it is 1 am on a sunday night, and I have all the time in the world to write to you lovely folks. And not only do I have the time, but I also have the other two key ingredients to successful writing, the inspiration and the mental clarity. So here it goes...

I am now in Southern California, in the Inland Empire, or the I.E. according to latest abbreviation trends, to be exact. I have been here for two weeks straight, though four and a half weeks on and off. Before that, as most of you are aware, I was living in Munich, Germany. I was, in fact, an au pair to Irene and Martin Bruckmeier. Irene was 5.5 when I arrived in Germany last February and Martin was 3.5. They are now as you can imagine a year older...you do the math ;). And I am now missing them terribly. The year was rough sailing, but full of amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experiences, unforgettable moments and indispensable life lessons. I wouldn't have had it any other way, and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to live out this year in Germany.

Now let's talk a bit about transitions, about just how weird it can truly be to move from one world, one reality, one way of life, one place, one country, to another. Now let's talk about how moving after a year of experiences, a year of growth and life lessons, a year of challenges in an environment that was in the beginning completely foreign and unknown but that in the end had somehow become your home, back to the place you spent the first 18 years of your life, long before you had found your own voice or identity, can really stir things up inside and unsettle you. It is all so surreal. It leaves you wondering where you are, who you are, why you are here and not there, what day it is, and basically just how?!

How did this all happen? How am I here, back in my old room surrounded by old friends and family, back on those familiar streets that I drove my whole life, back to being surrounded by a language I can effortlessly understand and converse in, back to strip malls and fast food restaurants on every corner, back to shopping malls and big movie palaces, back to the predictability and known, when just two months ago I was in Germany, riding my bike and walking everywhere, speaking my broken german, picking up Martin from kindergarten and Irene from school, living in my little white room with its bright green curatins, going over to my friend birgit's apartment to listen to music and cook or going out for drinks or kaffee or a meal with friends or strolling through the Englischer Garten or along the Isar in my freetime?! How is it that only two months ago I had no security blanket to turn to, that the only one I could rely on was me and now I am surrounded on all sides by people who have known me for most of, if not all, my life and who love me unconditionally, to whom I know I could turn to no matter what if I needed help? How is it that it was the dead of winter, with snow all around and now it is summer and the skin on my face is slightly tanned from a mere few hours outside? How is it that the 4 or 5 people who were most essential to my life in Germany and who I saw and/or talked to on a weekly basis at the very least are now soo so soooo far away and our contact seldom and sparse?! How is it that in one day, over the course of a 12 hour flight, you can be worlds, and realities apart, that your life changes completely? How is it that everything you've built up over a year is then suddenly ripped right out from under your feet? HOW?!

Well, you know I have been living this life for a good two/three years now, the life of the nomad that is, and I gotta say it does NOT get any easier with time. In fact, in some aspects it definitely gets harder. The longer you are away, and the more formative experiences you have, the stranger it gets to be home, to come back to a life once-lived, to the life of a girl you once were but who if you saw her today you'd barely recognize as yourself. Of course I am being dramatic, but that is how it feels sometimes.

You change, people change, things happen and shit goes down. As a very wise woman I once knew, and still know, just recently told me, "Life is a crapshoot". You never know what will happen, but chances are it will affect you in some way or other, and you, like all others, will be forever changed. Now imagine you leave your roots and your comfort zone and put yourself somewhere where you are completely out of your element, and are bombarded daily, if not by the minute, by something new and unfamiliar and challenging, and you as a result are exposed to knew ways of thinking, seeing the world, and living life, and you learn and you change and you grow. Then imagine coming back to where you started. It's like running a race and getting 3/4 of the way through only to discover that you are back at the starting line. It's confusing, disorienting and pretty much makes no sense. But with time you wrap your mind around it and regain your bearings, and are ready to dive right back in. I am not sure if that was a good analogy or if it was effective in communicating the message I was hoping to send, but hey was worth a try.

It's late and I am tired, and believe all my inspiration and writing ability has left me...so until the next free moment!!

And remember: Life is beautiful, amazing and wonderous...every moment of it...you just have to keep your eyes, your mind and your heart open to all that is around you!!

I want to hike across the Alps and some point in my life...which by the way means I will do it. End of story!

Express Yourself

Have any of you ever just sat down with a guitar or at a piano or perhaps with a paint brush in hand and just...did? I mean did you ever without preconceived notions of what qualified as art or music, and without fears of whether it would be good or not, just start making a sound on an instrument and listen to it, feel it or just start crafting something out of clay or other "materials" lying around or start painting lines or forms on a page without any end goal in sight, letting it just come together as it (or rather your subconscious) willed? When was the last time you just let go and created something, just for the heck of it?

One of the most significant lessons that I have learned this year has been that the means, along with the need, to create lie in every person, that art and music come in all ways, shapes and forms, and that in the end any expression of self is indeed art, and no value can be placed on it. As I once said to my friend Glen, "I think ANYONE can do art", and I now add music to that statement. In fact, the kids are constantly amazing me by just how creative they are: the games they think up, the things they can make out of a box, the number of versions of a cave or a fort they have come up with, the paintings they make, what they imagine in their minds and then proceed to make with their own hands( i.e. masks, 3-D houses, pinecone men , chestnut animals, pirate telescopes, paper lanterns...the list goes on and on). It is truly amazing to see, and has been a gift to be a part of over this last year.

They make and do things that I would never in my wildest dreams even think of. And I, having thought about it more and more these days, have come to the conclusion that the reason for their high level of creativity, is not so much a result of nature as it is of nuture. I grew up in a household where television and movies were always prevalent, with parents who neither played musical instruments nor were interested in music as an art form, where art was seldom done and where whatever we needed we bought from a store. Creativity just wasn't present in our daily lives. And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or criticizing. Believe me I DO know how lucky I've been in life and how much my parents did for me and my sister, how hard they worked, how much they sacrificed, and most importantly how much they loves us (mom and dad feel free to counter :-). But the fact is, creativity was never something that was fostered in me (probably because it was never really fostered in my parents), and I am now just realizing to what extent it hasn't been. In fact, even outside the home, creativity was just not something one needed in a typical day of life in suburbia Southern California. If you think about it, life as I always new it growing up, was just so easy and so predictable. We always went to the same stores, that all looked the same, that sold the same things, that were always well-supplied, and that were, well, completely and utterly reliable. The same thing goes for the physical nature of where I've grown up, the streets are, for the most part, big, straight, easily navigated, and well-organized. The buildings, aesthetically speaking, all look more or less the same, are all more or less, perfectly and predictably built. The fact is I grew up in the "Land of Convenience and Monotony". No wonder I never developed my creativity. I was never really challenged and never HAD to think outside the box, because life fit perfectly inside it.

However, a big part of this year has been about taking the first steps in awakening that side of me. Besides the family themselves, who come from an incredible tradition of making things yourself, I have met so many people here who play musical instruments (some of whom are self-taught), who draw, who are writing or have written novels and poetry, who make most things by hand, all because they can, they want to and because the act of creating is therapeutic, fulfilling, and an outlet for self-expression. You see, all of these people that I have come to know here, do it for themselves, and many. like Irene and Martin, have been taught from a young age to tap into that side of them. The beauty of kids is they are still so much more in touch with their true selves that the creativity just flows out of them. They are unhindered enough, and have not been so corrupted by the outside messages of what defines "good" and "bad", "right" and "wrong", and what they can and can't do, that they (for the most part) continue just trying, experimenting, and doing, without doubt or reservation.

And this, my dear ladies and gentlemen, is a testament to what lies at the very core of every human being, even if over the years it has been been neglected, dismissed, ignored, even discouraged or flat-out rejected and little to no trace of it remains on the surface...even so, we all have it in us. Now I am not claiming that each and everyone of us had the ability, talent, or pure genius in us to have been the next Van Gogh, Bach, or Picasso. Hardly. But we are all, I repeat we are ALL, of us creators. We are all artists, whatever our medium, and we all have something in us that needs expressing.

So why not just let go of the limits that we have been taught to impose on ourselves, why not drop all our doubts and fears that we won't do it "right" or that it won't be "good enough", and just do? Why not just start strumming the strings of the guitar and listen to the sound, why not then try to put two or three or four of those sounds together in succession, then strum two or three at a time....why not just try, experiment and have fun? And if not the guitar, then the drums, the piano, the bango or the trombone....whatever floats your boat, whatever you have access to, whatever moves or inspires you...why the heck not?! Or if it's easier and more approachable, why not start drawing some lines and shapes, blocking out that negative voice in your head that says "you can't draw, you're not an artist, whatever you make will be pure crap, don't be ridiculous, you canNOT", and just seeing where the pen, pencil , paint brush, crayon, chalk, pastel, and/or charcoal takes you? Why not write down the first words that come to your mind, let the emotion flow out through your hand to the pen to the paper? The question is WHY NOT? Let go of the inner critic, set yourself free, and do!!! Believe me it is incredibly liberating if you allow it to be :-) ... and alot more fun than yet another episode of Grey's Anatomy!!

An American (Holiday) in Germany

So, I did it again. I made Thanksgiving happen in yet another country. Apparently, I am spreading the seed of Thanksgiving spirit everywhere I go. Well it is my favorite holiday of all time, and I just couldn't let a year go by without a day dedicated to eating, drinking, and being merry.

So I organized and I planned and I organized again - yeah I know what you are thinking, Brittany, planning and organization just don't go together, but I guess when the motivation is right, all bets are off! Then I shopped shopped shopped and I cooked cooked cooked ... and cooked some more. And after three days, it went off without a hitch.

Of course this success was not without it challenges and obstacles. We first had to figure out where to get a whole turkey, where to get canned pumpkin (and in the end we didn't, we steamed it ourselves), how to make 8 courses in an european kitchen in an european apartment, with limited supplies and cooking space, and how to get just the right people to food ratio. But in the end we made it all work somehow.

There were 8 of us there, 6 germans and 2 americans...and on the menu, two turkeys (a 6lb-er and a 3.5lb-er), mashed potatoes with shallots, sweet potato mash with goat cheese and lime zest, apple-pecan stuffing, spicey cranberry sauce, gravy, green beans, and of course pumpkin pie, all entirely made from scratch and all delectably scrumptious... so much so, that I surprised even myself :-) Or rather, the more surprising part, was that it was all ready and enjoyed before midnight!! However this little tidbit I credit to my friend Birgit, who was my righthand through it all, and without whom my pension for disorganization would have been allowed to take control and complete chaos would have ensued. But, the point is that I resisted the urge to let stress overwhelm me, and instead enjoyed every minute of it. I embraced the challenge and basked in the uncertainty of it all. And when things got a bit rocky, I rode the wave, played it by ear, and trusted my instincts. In the end, it is this I realize that is the secret to any kind of success in life, and, as was proved tonight, especially in the kitchen.

All in all, it was a great evening, great in its simplicity. It was a night dedicated to the three crucial C's: company, conversation and cuisine. It was about friends, new and old, gathering to enjoy a meal and each other. And I believe that no matter where you are in the world, whether you are american or kenyan or chinese, it's nights like this one that make you stop and realize what it is you have to be thankful for.

(One more thought: Until this time I never really fully appreciated just how much work and time and effort and mental energy goes into Thanksgiving. I have to hand it to grandma [and all the other moms and grandmas who do it], for making Thanksgiving happen year in and year out, for 15 - 20 people at a time...truely a great feat. Thanks grandma!!)

It's the Little Things...

Over these past few months I've come to realize that it is indeed the little things in life that make it beautiful. Being here in Munich, in a situation that for my personality and character is not always ideal, these very minute details of the day have helped me to see past the gray skies, to turn my mood a complete 360, and to altogether reset the day at a more positive pace.

So thought I would share with you guys some of those little things that have been making me happy:


1) The Dodos - My newest favorite music group. I was introduced to them recently by my good friend Birgit. And I absolutely love them. I think I listen to them at least once a day. And we're going to their concert on the 2nd of December, at the music club 59:1. Can't wait!!

2) Opa Heinz - This is Robert's father, "Opa" meaning grandpa. He and Oma (grandma) Traudel came down - from Rosstal, near Nuernberg - this past weekend to help me out with the kids, as Lilo and Robert were off to Sevilla in celebration of their 10th anniversary. As I really have grown fond of both of them the last couple times I have seen them, I was quite looking forward to their visit. Sure enough, this time like all the others was great! One of the highlights of their visit, would have to be the conversations I had with Opa Heinz. He actually, as far as temperament, reminds me alot of Grandpa John. So obviously I immediately took to him. But what we really put him on my list of favorite people, were the talks we had about his adventures; the many bike tours he has done in his life - to southern France, to Venice, to Spain, and so on-, the post-graduation motorcycle trip that he and a friend of his did down through Italy, Sicily, then through Tunisia, and over to Egypt (and this mind you was in the 60's), and a two-week backpacking tour in the english countryside. Not to mention, he still does a weekly bike tour with a group of friends of his, that is typically anywhere from 150 to 200k. Besides the biking, he is also an avid gardener. He and Traudel, survive mostly off what they themselves grow in their backyard. So needless-to-say he is an inspiration and definitely a kindred spirit.

3) The Isar bike and foot paths - The Isar is the river that runs through Munich. But unlike most urban-bound rivers, the Isar is left very much untouched by human construction (excluding the part that is in the very center of town). In most areas, if it weren't the amount of people around and the occasional glimpse of a tall building or church, it would be easy to think that you were in the countryside somewhere. But what it is exactly that I love about the Isar, is just how essential it is to life in Munich. During the summer, people gather on its banks during the evenings (any day of the week) with friends and loved ones for a BBQ, beer, frisby and other games, or just to sit and chat. There is honestly nothing like whiling away a warm summer's eve with a cold beer in hand and good friends around, having fun, joking, conversing, all the while the river's soft hush in the background. And during the rest of the year, as it gets just too cool for spending whole days or evenings by the river, people spend hours strolling, running, or biking along it, on the many bike and foot paths that line it on either side. It honestly is one of my favorite spots in Munich, and has a way of just setting things right when it seems all is wrong.

4)Uncovering Munich's Best Hidden Watering Holes - Maroto, Cafe' Pini, Weinhandlung/bar in the Gaertner Platz area, Trachtenvogl, Garibaldi Weinbar, Flaschenbar, Schwabinger Sieben, Excess, Schall & Rauch...

5) Virginia Woolf and her book "The Waves" - It is one of three or four books I am currently reading, and it honestly blows my mind. This is my first introduction to Virginia Woolf and her writing style, and I have to say I am profoundly impressed. I have NEVER read anything like it before. It's just so human. Her use of a constant first person perspective for 6 different characters and the stream of consciousness style of writing really gives life to her characters in a way that the audience understands perfectly who they are. I am currently 2/3 of the way through and already have the next book of hers that I want to read on my list... "A Room of One's Own", which comes highly recommended from a good friend of mine.

6) Autumn Skies - I love love love those days in fall when the air is so clear and crisp that there is literally nothing between you and the sun. Everything takes on a frankness and a tangibility. The skies are as blue as can be, and the clouds look as if they've been painted on in soft strokes. The trees are somehow 5-dimensional and their branches seem to be reaching out to you. And everything just everything is alive...

7) Doggy Encounters - Any and all kinds will do, though my favorite is a Bernese Mountain dog that lives in my neighborhood and that I often run into trottng alongside his owner as he rides his bike. They are indeed quite the pair!!

10) Finding out that the green space in munich is truely neverending - Just when you think there could be no more...

11) European Christmas - The start lights are strung and other decorations hung throughout town, the smell of gluehwein (mulled wine) is wafting through the streets, the ice skating rink is in full swing, and it truely feels like Christmas is coming.

12) Unexpected Emails (or even better, letters) of Love from Long-Lost Friends

13) Riding My Bike- In fact one of the highlights of my day is definitely picking up Martin at kindergarten and our bike ride back home together...

14) Good Meals and Good Conversation - I'm especially excited for tomorrow's Thanksgiving in Germany party!! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of all time and I love introducing foreigners to this lovely tradition!!

15) Getting in Touch with My Innerchild - Martin and I every now and again have a dancing session, which entails us spinning around in a circle as fast as we can, hands linked, until eventually he pulls up his feet and I keep spinning until my arms give out. Or as we did yesterday (this is a recent development mind you), I sit on the floor, we hold hands and he runs around me in a circle and I help him along a bit, using my heels to propel me along. Basically it's the best dance in the world. And if you've had a bad day, and you need to find a way to turn it around, or even if your day's been just fine, do try this at home! Other possible options are, jumping on a trampoline or rolling down a hill. They are all equally effective and awesome!

16) Fooling Around on the Guitar and Makeshift Drums

An Alpine Send-off ...

Our Fall here in Bavaria was often unpredictable, at times disappointing, and altogether too short. However, all things considered it was gorgeous. And I believe after my muenchner fall it's settled that fall is officially my favorite season of the year...along with spring and summer ;-). But of course my seasonal preference is also highly dependent on the setting and location, as what defines spring, summer, fall and winter is relative.



In this case, fall would be defined by a pleasurably, refreshing climate infused with a cool crispness, colors that were to die for - electrifying yellows and golds, rust oranges and firey reds lit up the trees against the deep azure backdrop of the sky everywhere you turned-, the smoke of daily fires burning in the wood ovens filling the air, the comfort of sipping a warm cappuccino or some hot tea while bundled up safe and warm inside, and the crunch of leaves under your feet, or bike tires for that matter, as you made your way home. And perhaps what I like best of all about fall is witnessing the whole process of change, for fall is really a period of transition, from summer to winter. One can't helped but be struck by the trees, as they go from bright green to tinged yellow, to gold or orange or red, sometimes with the green still lingering a bit until eventually the leaves stiffen and hover to the ground and the branches are left baren and stolid, paving the way for the stark and solemn grays of the impending winter. Then the sun starts to scamper away earlier and earlier, and you recognize the nights lengthen and the days shorten, until all of the sudden daylight is a distant stranger. And not only can you see the change around you, you can feel it. The temperature gradually and slowly becomes colder and more frigid. And as the physical world around you transitions, you can't help but feel that it is somehow mirroring your own experiences. You start to become aware of the change going on inside of you. As I have said before, the only constant in life is change, and fall more than any other season is a manifestation of exactly that. And soon it will come to its natural end.




In honor of the impending departure of my new love, my friend Birgit and I took the decent weather prediction for Saturday, as a calling to do the last hiking of the year. So a little later than planned, due to an alarm fiasco on my part, we caught the BOB - not sure what it stands for but it's a train that takes you south of Munich towards the Alps - to Bayerischzell. And there we climbed a mountain...to the top! And the views it afforded, in addition to the kick-ass Schnitzel and Weissbier, made it more than worth it. Not to mention the fact that we met what is now one of my favorite dogs of all time.



I don't know his name, but I believe his story is one to tell. He is a swiss mountain dog, so black with large amounts of white and brown on his face, chest and paw areas. His owner was man that we deduced works on the mountain, maintaining the ski lifts year-round. And this dog follows him up and down and around the mountain. He runs off in all different directions, sniffing, listening, tasting and discovering just about everything. He's also quite the speedy climber, as we witnessed firsthand. From what I can tell he is a free and wild spirit, and he lives in just the right setting to do that. He leads a great life, and I was lucky enough to convince him to leave one of his many explorations to come over and let me pet him. And that I did gladly, for as long as I could hold him, which was for a grand total of ten minutes. Then he was off again!!



After our encounter with "the dog", we soaked up the last bit of day's sun, took in the most of 360 degree view from the mountain's peak, then started our meander down the mountain, through the little village and back towards the train station. Then a short hour and a half ride on the BOB later we were back in the city, back in the hustle and bustle....for better or worse. Regardless, we will always have the memories of spending one of fall's last days in a gloriously peaceful escape atop a mountain...wandering, climbing, chatting, gorging ourselves on a schnitzel and beer, and absorbing the astounding view from above. Life cannot get much better :-)